koh chang. chang boot. beer chang.

koh chang.
koh chang is populated by pythons, king cobras, and barking deer.
it also seems to have a really bad litter problem.
and there seems to be a disproportionate population of gorgeous blonds.
chang boot:

beer chang:
is cheap and strong.
drink a few and you feel like you got hit by a fucking stampede.
word.

just for shang

jespe and i are watching this weird thai dating channel that blasts shitty trance and then all these fat chicks walk down these stairs and stop and then it shows like, their name and measurements and shit like that...
AND THERE WAS A GIRL WHO WAS 47/47/47!!!

choco banana pocky

is the fucking jam.

forensic museum in bangkok

so after our streetjito's ended up running around with my thai friend jack and a gaggle of aussies where we spent all night at jack's friends bar and ended up drinking bucket after bucket of sangsom until some idiot from nyc came along and starting talking a bunch of high falauting shit when i was like, hey.. shut the fuck up bro, you do shakespeare in the park or what? and he admitted that he did i and was like, damn! i called it! then i ran out of the bar and grabbed a rad motorcycle helmet that was laying around in a bunch of trash and such and started running around the streets playing tron.
so---wake up in a few hours and visit the infamous !!>>>>!!!!>!>....!!!!!
BANGKOK FORENSICS MUSEUM!!!
so waking up quite early in the a.m. and begin wandering towards the siriraj hospital.
we find it eventually after taking about one thousand and one wrong turns and then the guards tell us that today is a free day! rad. so we wander up the stairs and are greeted by big photos of things like, "shot through the heart with handgun" and "ran over by train"
hemorrhaged brains, limbs blown apart by grenades, severed limbs covered in tattoos, people shot through the head, and deformed babies.


although, the babies were the worst ... my hangover was not treating me very well after looking at one after another after another of these:

and whats really strange is that all the thai people go and put like, all these toys and candy and money as offerings to the dead babies?
to help them in the afterlife apparently. oh, and let's not forget the siamese twins.

and then we have the famous serial killer Si Ouey. he um... kidnapped thai children, murdered them and then ate their internal organs... delicious.

then we went to the zoo and looked at shit like.. crocodiles and turtles and birds and giraffes and shit.

here comes the sun

to celebrate this killer sun burn i've had for the last few days we're going to talk about a couple of my favorite things. little packages tied up in string, china, and the virgin mary.
so in the kottayam area in southeast india the virgin mary appeared in the sky.
churches warned their congregations that looking at the sun would cause permanent blindness and told them that the supposed miracle is not one.
oh, and then all the statues of the virgin mary started crying honey and bleeding oils and perfumes. and then 48 people were admitted to the hospital with burned retinas.
which brings us to china.
so china wants to have the sun on demand for the beijing olympics, they've been doing weather modification experiments for a while now and they want the sun to be shining the whole time, through the fog. snip from the article:
One thing worth considering when you tamper with nature is what sort of nature you’re tampering with. Nature is not kind to the city of Beijing. China’s capital is arid, nearly a desert, and its natural weather patterns are fickle and harsh. Winter is marked by howling Siberian winds; summer, by sweltering monsoon heat. In lieu of showers, springtime is best known for seasonal dust storms that sweep down from Central Asia. Fall is parched and gusty too, but the dust settles down. This basic brutality is overlaid with levels of pollution like those of England’s Industrial Revolution. Many things blot out the sunshine, and most have nothing to do with rain: factory and power plant emissions, construction dust, smoke from stoves burning scrap wood or pressed coal. There are more than 3 million cars on the streets—and the count is said to be growing by 400,000 vehicles annually. It is not unusual to check the AccuWeather international forecast on the New York Times website and find that while other cities’ weather is “mostly sunny” or “overcast,” Beijing’s is “smoky.” In February 2007, authorities finally abandoned a longstanding policy in which haze was referred to as wu, Mandarin for fog, and just called it what it is—mai, or haze.

happy easter

birds nest soup.

so we've been in krabi for a few days.
finally got this blog up and in action.
expect a whole lot of completely off topic ramblings about the things that i come across on my travels while trying to avoid looking like an aids victim from mosquito bites.
right.
krabi.
krabi is a little town down on the southwest coast of thailand. it is here in the caves of krabi that one might find the nests of the edible-nest swiflet, of birds nest soup fame.

The white nests and the “red blood” nests are supposedly rich in nutrients which are supposed to have all of these miraculous health benefits. helping with digestion, improving your singing voice (and i suppose your talking and mubling and ranting voice also), increasing your concentration (the thai guy next to me at the computer is looking at pictures of incredibly grotesque looking vaginas. we need to help these people out in the porn department..), improving your general immune system, and allowing your cock to be hard for hours at a time so you can fuck like a sybian.
so hong kong and the u.s. import tons of this shit. in hong kong a bowl of birds nest soup can cost between $30-100 usd.
a kilogram of the white nest can go for about $2000, but a red blood nest can get up to $10,000 per kilo. so most people just put red food coloring into it.
go figure.
so these dudes build hundred foot scaffolding out of super sketched out bamboo and then climb up and steal the nests out of the caves.

there's all this horrible death metal playing in this internet cafe, and these gigantic horrendous vaginas next to me so i'm going to sign off.

going to go to the 7-11 to get a beer and some birds nest soup.
word.


-the kansas kid